ABBA ELIJAH’S STORY ABOUT HIMSELF
Abba Elijah the grazer told us that he once lived in a cave in the area around Jordan because he was not in communion with Abba Macarios, the Bishop of Jerusalem. One day, about the sixth hour, when the heat was at its most intense, someone came knocking at the cave. I went out and saw a woman there.
“What are you doing here?” I asked her, and she answered, “Abba, I too follow this way of life, sir. I have a little cave in which I live about a stone’s throw from your cell.” She pointed out to me where it was located, away to the south. Then she said to me, “I have traveled across this wilderness and am very thirsty on account of the raging heat. Of your charity, please give me a little water.”
I took out my water bottle and gave it to her. She took it and drank, then I sent her on her way. When she had departed, the devil began to work against me on her account, putting lewd thoughts into my mind. The devil gained possession of me, and I could not bear the flame of lust. So I took my staff and set out from the cave in the heat of the day, across the burning stones. It was my intention to search for her and to satisfy my desire.
When I had gone about a furlong, my passion reached fever pitch, and I went into a trance. I saw the earth open up, and I fell down into it. There, I saw rotting corpses, badly decayed and burst open, filling the place with an unspeakably foul stench. I then saw a person of venerable appearance who pointed to the corpses and said to me, “See, this is a woman's body, and that is a man’s; go and enjoy yourself and do whatever your passion dictates. But in return for that pleasure, take note of how much labor you intend to destroy. Just look at the sort of sin for which you are prepared to deprive yourself of the kingdom of heaven. Oh, wretched humanity! Would you lose the fruit of all that toil for one hour’s pleasure?”
But I was overcome by the appalling stench and fell to the ground. The holy apparition came and set me on my feet. He caused the warfare to cease, and I returned to my cell, giving thanks to God.